


Don't Say Goodbye

by Colorkiller



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dark, F/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-28 10:37:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20777192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorkiller/pseuds/Colorkiller
Summary: “I’m sure you know by now that we’re nearing the end.”Bobby struggles not to let on that his whole world is crumbling.  His only focus needs to be the words that she’s saying.“Yes.” He replies simply, his hands folded in his lap.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i did the bare minimum of research and then i barely used it, so forgive me if anything is wrong. or just indulge me. it's angsty as!!!! so i'm warning you now, I cried while I was writing it. 
> 
> i want to give a shout out to the insta groupchat for helping me out with ideas on this 
> 
> check back soon

At first, the coughing fit was only to hide the horrible noise Jo’s doll was making. Bobby was instantly concerned, which warmed her heart, even if it annoyed her because the coughing was false. As the noise kicked up again, she kicked into a couple more coughing fits. 

It wasn’t until the last fit, bent over her knees, hacking excessively, that she realized she wasn’t faking it any longer. She managed to hide the fact that she was struggling for breath well, but Bobby made her lie down anyway, rushing off to bring her a bottle of water. She glared at Jo, but she was suddenly concerned. 

\--

With two days left in the villa, MC stood staring in the mirror. Maybe it was just a really bad cold, or an infection, she thought. But, a cold in the summer? In Spain? Wildly unlikely. 

She’d been hiding all morning, mostly trying to avoid Bobby and the concern looming in those golden eyes. She had kept it together for the most part, thanks to water and a lot of chewing gum. She coughed into her hand, a long, hacking cough. When she looked into her hand, she saw the bright red, splattered all across it. 

“Oh, no,” she breathed. She heard footsteps and instantly snapped out of it, washing her hands hastily to remove any evidence of blood just before Bobby walked up behind her. 

“Are you alright, MC?” He asked, frowning. “I heard you coughing again.” 

Maybe I should check in with the doctors, MC thought. She shook her head. 

“I think I’m alright...maybe the villa doctors have some cough drops.” 

“Come on,” Bobby said, leading her into the kitchen. He brewed her a cup of tea, handing her the steaming mug as he settled into a barstool beside her. 

“Thank you, babe,” She said softly, her voice a little hoarse. 

“I just--” He frowned, staring at his hands. “I’m worried about you, MC. You’ve been coughing nonstop in your sleep.” 

“Have I?” MC’s eyes widened. Bobby dropped his voice to a whisper. 

“MC, there was blood on the pillow this morning.” He tells her, finally meeting her eyes. 

“Shit.” She sighs. “Look, I don’t want to make a big deal of this in case it’s nothing, Bobby.” She takes his hand, squeezing it in an attempt to be reassuring. “It’s almost the end, everyone is in enough of a state as it is.” 

“Darling, don’t I know it.” He leaned in, cupping her cheek with his free hand. “Still,” he paused. 

“I’m worried, too.” She finally admits, her face falling. “But there’s two days left. I think…” she bites her lip. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“If anything gets worse, we’re leaving this villa immediately, MC.” 

\--

Two days later, Bobby and MC won love island. Two days later, MC was rushed into a hospital to find out what, if anything, was wrong. She had had such a hard time catching her breath after the finale that Bobby had insisted they go right away. Forget the fanfare. 

After x-rays and a battery of tests, she was finally diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer. 

“This is a joke, right?” She’d asked no one in particular. Bobby was uncharacteristically quiet. MC buried her face in her hands, trying hard not to fall apart. Surely, it had to be treatable. 

She was fortunate enough to beat the cancer into remission, and for something like four years, she and Bobby lived a blissful life. 

\--

MC stared into the sink for what seemed like an eternity. She was paralyzed from shock, she couldn’t move, she could barely breathe. Her eyes had to be deceiving her. This couldn’t be happening again. She recalled her last few workouts, and how it had taken her twice as long as usual to catch her breath. Blood splattered erratically over the ceramic, and she wanted nothing more than to cry. 

It had been nearly four years since that magical word, remission, had been spoken to her, and as much as she didn’t want to fear the worst, she had a sinking feeling. 

“Bobby!” She called, her voice coming out a little more frantic than she intended. “Could you come here please?” 

He practically sprinting into the bathroom, and when he caught sight of her blood in the sink, his face crumpled. 

“Bobby, please don’t--” She caught his arms in her hands, holding on for dear life, whispering. “You know I can’t handle it if you cry.” He sees the fresh tears clinging to her long lashes, the urgency in her touch. 

“Your mom is on her way with Sunny, what are we going to tell her?” He asked. MC shook her head. 

“Nothing. We don’t know if this is serious, yet.” 

Bobby nodded, and MC went to call her doctor.

\--

A week later, and the news was bad. Very bad. 

“The cancer has metastasized.” 

“You don’t have much time. Four to six months, a year if you’re lucky.” 

The words rushed through her head. They made her dizzy. Already, she was grieving for all of the lives she had to leave behind. Bobby, their beautiful daughter, her parents, his parents, their friends. All of them. 

“We need an islanders reunion.” MC told him the day she found out. “I need to see everyone before I--” her voice cracked. “I just need to see them.” 

Bobby spent the next few weeks planning. Two weeks after they first found out the news, MC had her first bad day. She nearly collapsed at the foot of the stairs when she came down for breakfast, struggling for way too long to catch her breath. Bobby came running, drawing her into his arms and rushing her to the emergency room, praying that this wasn’t it. 

She recovered, but she was noticeably weaker. Bobby pushed the reunion up when he noticed how sad she was, lately. He came home early from work every day he could, and a lot of days, he brought her roses. 

“This place is turning into a greenhouse, Bobs.” She told him playfully one day. He leaned down to kiss her, drawing her into his arms, just like he did every day. 

“Is that complaining I hear?” He teased, and she giggled. 

“No!” She booped his nose. “Let’s…let’s go for a drive.” 

The next thing he knew, she was driving them all over the countryside, belting out every song that played on the radio. He watched her, memorizing the moment, before remembering that cell phones existed. 

“Are you recording me?” She laughed, her hair blowing in the wind as she glanced at him. He just grinned as she kept singing. These were the moments he treasured, the moments he didn’t mind losing sleep for. If it were possible to change the outcome of her cancer, he would never sleep again if it meant keeping the love of his life on the planet. 

\--

She had a particularly bad day a week later, and Bobby called off work and cancelled all of his plans to look after her. He brought her tea and breakfast in bed, curling up beside her. 

“Do you regret anything?” MC asked suddenly. 

“Huh?” Bobby raised an eyebrow. “Like what?” 

“If you had known that this would happen, that you’d--” the words ‘lose me’ hang heavily in the air between them. She tossed her hair over her shoulder before she continued. “Would you still have chosen me?” 

“Of course.” Bobby smoothed the hair off of her face. “But you’re the one who chose me, remember?” He kissed her cheek. 

“But...would you have done it differently?” 

“No.” He told her firmly. “It was always only you, from the first moment I saw you.” 

“Bobby, I…” She bit her lip. “I don’t want you to be alone when I’m--” 

“MC, that’s not for you to worry about.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to think about that when my sunshine is right here next to me.” He sighed deeply, thinking to himself he didn’t care if he was alone once she was gone. He had never loved anyone like this. He knew he would never love like this again, if ever. Their daughter would be a living memory of her, anyway. She was the spitting image of her mother. 

“I just...I love you so much, you know? The thought of this hurting you is too much for me to bear.” 

“Then don’t think about it” He leans down to kiss her, and she nods. 

“Alright.” 

\--

Their house is alive with the sound of laughter, chatter, and clinking glasses. All of the original islanders, plus Henrik and Lucas and even some of the Casa Amor crew showed up. MC basks in the warmth her friends bring to her home. 

Bobby constantly checks on her, making sure she’s comfortable and happy. He beams to see that she’s acting like her usual, energetic self, if a step or two slower than normal. 

“It’s so good to catch up with everyone!” She tells him several times throughout the night, kissing him deeply in the kitchen. After the party, she sinks into the couch next to him, sighing softly. 

“I don’t think I have a lot of days like this left, Bobby,” she says softly. He bites his lip, struggling not to feel any sadness. 

“Then we’d better make the most of them.” He leans in to kiss her cheek, but she turns, drawing his lips to hers. She deepens the kiss, carding her fingers through his locs. 

“We’d better.” She winds herself through his arms, pressing her body against his. He’s warm, his skin feels delicious against hers. 

“Wait, you’ve got something…” he plucks an eyelash off of her cheek gently. 

“You’d better make a wish, Bobby,” she breathes, her skin flushing. He closes his eyes, mouthing something before blowing the eyelash off his fingertip. 

“I’d wish for as many moments like this as possible, and when they end, to bottle them up so I can savor them whenever I need to.”

MC’s breath caught in her throat. She lowered her lashes, sighing softly. “I love you so much, Bobby.” She breathes, tilting his face up so her lips can meet his. She deepens the kiss, running her fingers down the buttons on his shirt. He sucks his breath in through his teeth before responding. 

“I love you, too, MC. More than you’ll ever know.” 

\--

The house is quiet one day when Bobby gets home from work, but for the faint sound of singing. He found the source in Sunny’s room, where MC held their child in her arms, singing sweetly to her. 

‘ _ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine _

_ You make me happy when skies are grey _

_ You never know, dear, how much I love you _

_ Please don’t take my sunshine away’ _

As she continues to sing, Bobby has to turn away, clutching the door jamb. It’s tugging at his heart strings for several reasons. His mom used to sing this song to him when he was small, and it warmed his heart to see his wife singing to their little one. But it also reminded him that the universe had conspired to take his sunshine away from him. 

He turns back, hoping to memorize this moment. The glow on MC’s face reminds him of the first time he told her he loved her. She looks up, finally realizing he’s in the doorway, and she smiles, beckoning him to her side. He sits beside her, wrapping his arm around her and joining in her song. 

A part of him wishes he could record this moment, another part knows it is already seared into his memory. 

\--

“You need to come to the hospital right away,” MC’s mom says over the phone. Though her voice is calm, Bobby can almost hear the uncried tears in it. 

“I’m on my way.” 

In an instant, his world is upside down. What changed while he was at work? MC had woken up in such a cheery mood. It had been 9 months since the diagnosis, 3 months longer than the doctors thought she’d survive, and only three months away from being lucky. 

He didn’t even need to explain to his boss why he was leaving. From the look in his eyes, it was obvious. 

Even though it felt like he hit every single red light on the way, he made record time, and before he knew it, he was pushing through the door to MC’s hospital room. 

“Bobby!” She crowed weakly, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“MC! What happened?” He asked, noticing the breathing mask in her hand. 

“I took a turn.” Her eyes are dark, she looks as though she’s been crying. His chest is tight, and there’s a lump in his throat. 

“No, not yet,” he whispers, not to her, but to whatever deity might be listening. He wanted to cry, to scream, to pray furiously, but he knew none of that would do any good. He had to put on a brave face for MC. But when he looked up, he realized she was crying. 

“I don’t want to go.” She was crying softly, and he took her hand in his. “I don’t want to miss Sunny’s first day of school, I don’t want to miss it when you finally get famous for that groundbreaking pastry I know you’re going to make. Bobby, I don’t want to say goodbye.” 

They’re both quiet for a long time. Finally, Bobby speaks. 

“Then don’t.” 

Now, they’re both crying, and she has to push him away to use the breathing mask. 

“Dammit,” she finally says when she’s caught her breath. “I swore I wouldn’t cry.” 

“You’re going to be fine, MC,” Bobby says, but his voice cracks. 

“Life goes on, right?” She tries to joke, and he tries to smile. They’re both failing at it, but at least he’s with her. 

She dozes off, and the nurse takes that moment to take Bobby aside. “Her doctor wants to speak with you.” 

Bobby sighs, knowing what’s next. “Alright.” He follows her to an empty room, where the doctor is waiting. Her face is kind, but tired, and she invites Bobby to sit across from her. 

“I’m sure you know by now that we’re nearing the end.” 

Bobby struggles not to let on that his whole world is crumbling. His only focus needs to be the words that she’s saying. 

“Yes.” He replies simply, his hands folded in his lap. 

“We’re all here to help both of you in this transition period. I know this isn’t easy to hear, but we are in her last days. She’s deteriorating rapidly, and while I can’t say how long she has, we know it won’t be long.” She reaches out to squeeze his hand comfortingly. She’s been by MC’s side throughout the whole ordeal, and he sighs softly. “I’m really sorry.” 

“I am, too.” He feels defeated. She’s not gone, not yet, but she’s packed her bags, the keys are in her hand. All he can think is he doesn’t know how to live without her. He doesn’t know how he’ll get out of bed without her singing in the kitchen. He doesn’t know how to go on knowing that he won’t be able to bring her flowers every day.

Once he left the room, he knew that her condition had deteriorated so badly that she wouldn’t make it home. Even if she was still coherent, still lively, she couldn’t breathe on her own, now. They’d replaced her mask with nasal cannula while she’d dozed off. She had been lucky that she hadn’t needed them before. 

_ “Please don’t take my sunshine away.”  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I guess now, I get it. It’s like...I still have so much to tell you, and you’re always going to be the first person I want to tell everything to. That will never change."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I'm out here making y'all cry. I feel like a rude mfer. Anyway, I couldn't figure out what I was doing with the end, so maybe there'll be one more little chapter soon, but it won't be for a while because I cried way too much about this and I need to go write some happy stories to cleanse myself of this. thank you for reading and i welcome feedback and requests as my life allows! <3

  
  


_ MC stroked Bobby’s face, singing softly in his ear.  _

_ He recognized the song immediately, ‘Reach Out (I’ll Be There)’.  _

_ “I’ll be there, with a love that will shelter you. I’ll be there, with a love that will see you through. I’ll be there to always see you through.” Her voice was sweet, vibrant, and she was healthy, glowing.  _

_ “MC, you’re--” He held out his arms, and she pulled him to her.  _

_ “I’m okay, Bobby. Everything is okay.”  _

  
  


Bobby woke with a start, stunned by the dream he’d just had. He’d fallen asleep holding MC’s hand, and he realized suddenly that her hand felt lifeless. “No, no, please, no.” He sat up, but he knew immediately that she was already gone, maybe within the last ten minutes. A strangled sob escaped his throat as he flung himself on her chest. 

He wasn’t ready to let her go, even if that was all he’d been preparing for the last few months. How could anyone ever be ready to let their soulmate go? He wanted to rage, but all he could do was weep softly. 

The nurses and doctors rushed in, and it was a whirlwind of faces until he was suddenly sitting in his mother-in-law’s living room. She was making tea. Bobby wanted to crawl into a hole, anything to escape what was coming next. Her funeral. 

MC’s mother set a mug of tea down in front of him. Her eyes were sad, but she sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. He couldn’t stop himself from breaking into tears, his shoulders shaking. 

“I’m so sorry, Bobby,” she says softly, and he pulls away, taking a shuddering breath to steady himself as he wipes tears away. 

“No, I’m sorry. We both lost someone so special…” his voice breaks and he can’t continue. 

She squeezes his arm comfortingly. “MC planned her own funeral.” She finally tells him. “She didn’t want us to have to go through it.” Her voice is thin and strained, and Bobby can tell she’s trying not to cry anymore. 

“Even on her worst days, she was always thinking of everyone else’s feelings.” Bobby sniffles, shaking his head. He knows she wouldn’t want him to be sad, but he can’t help it that she was his sunshine. She was his bright spot in a world that could be so dark and cold. Now, without her warmth, what was he to do? 

He remembered how bright she was at their reunion, even when she’d gathered everyone around to give them the horrible news. 

_ “You know how they say families only seem to get together for funerals? I don’t ever want that to be us.” She paused, sighing. “But I’m pretty sure the next time you’ll all be together is  _ **my** _ funeral.” She batted away some tears, sighing heavily. “My cancer has metastasized, and I don’t have much longer, so I expect you all to visit me round the clock!  _

_ “I also wanted you all to know before the media caught hold of this, because most of you have been with me on the journey of my life, and I hold you all dear to my heart.”  _

_ He followed her around, but not too closely, just to watch her talk to their friends, their chosen family, and she didn’t mind. She checked to see if he was there every so often, smiling broadly when she’d meet his eyes.  _

_ Chelsea, Lottie, Priya, and Hannah all stood in a circle with MC. Chelsea and Hannah were both dabbing at their eyes with tissues, and Priya looked as though she’d need one soon.  _

_ “MC, I literally don’t know what I’ll do without you!” Chelsea exclaimed.  _

_ “Oh, don’t get all sad on me, I can’t handle it.” MC admitted. “There’s not to be crying at parties!” MC grinned. She was still here, for now, and she wanted to enjoy it. Bobby couldn’t help but smile at her.  _

_ “I just can’t believe it, MC. I’ll be over any time I’m in the neighborhood.” Lottie told her. “I’ll even bring one of my tarot decks.”  _

_ “I’d really like that, Lottie.”  _

_ “If you’re up for it, we need to go shopping soon! I need your style in my life!” Priya exclaimed, throwing an arm around MC.  _

_ “If you need a good book to read, I’d be happy to bring my favorites over soon!” Hannah tells her.  _

_ “I’m holding you all to your word!” MC smiles. “You’ve all been such good friends to me. I didn’t think for a minute I’d meet all these people who would change my life for the better, but I’m so glad I have.”  _

_ She turned and beckoned Bobby to her, leaning on him as she moved on to the next group, Gary, Ibrahim, and Noah. Hope and Marisol were nearby, and so were Lucas and Henrik.  _

_ “Oy, mate!” Gary exclaimed, pulling her into a careful hug. Noah and Ibrahim take their turns, and they’re all quiet for a long moment. Bobby realizes that MC is leaning on him heavily, and he perks a brow at her.  _

_ “MC, are you feeling alright?” He asks, and she nods.  _

_ “Yeah, of course!” She grins.  _

_ “I’m really sorry for what you’re going through, MC,” Noah says, softly, nodding at Bobby.  _

_ “I try not to think about it too much.” MC admits, sighing. “It’s depressing. I just try to enjoy the good days as I have them, and I’ve got the best person at my side.” She cuddles up to Bobby.  _

_ “That’s the best way to look at it.” Ibrahim tells her, and she nods.  _

_ “There’s no sense dwelling on what you can’t change.”  _

_ When she moves off to the next group, Bobby hangs back.  _

_ “The world won’t be the same without her, mate,” Gary says, and Bobby nods.  _

_ “Don’t I know it.”  _

_ \-- _

“Bobby, Bobby, snap out of it!” MC’s mom waved her hand in front of his face, and he blinked, shaking his head. “MC wanted you to do her eulogy. Can you do that?” 

Bobby pales at the thought. He wouldn’t let anyone else do it, that was for sure, but the thought of doing it himself just made it more real. MC wasn’t coming back. 

“Of course I will.” Bobby nods slowly, shivering. 

“I know it’s hard. I know I couldn’t do it, and I’m her mum!” She shivers, too. “You’re not going home tonight, are you?” 

“I was thinking about it.” 

“Please, stay here. For as long as you need. You and Sunny are always welcome.” 

Bobby thought about the offer for a minute. He definitely couldn’t be alone that night. He didn’t know if he should be alone for a long time. 

“Sam will be home with Sunny any minute now.” 

As much as Bobby longed to see his daughter, he wasn’t ready to explain where her mommy was. She was three, now, and already talking and walking and getting into all sorts of trouble. She might be old enough to understand, but he didn’t want to have to tell her. He didn’t want to have to tell anyone. 

It wasn’t so much the act of telling everyone that put him off as it was the sympathetic looks. The constant voicing of “I understand.” There wasn’t another MC. There wasn’t another girl in the world that could hold a candle to her roaring wildfire. 

“She should hear it from you, Bobby, but we can tell her together.” MC’s mother tells him, and he shudders. 

“Thank you.” He’s wringing his hands when they hear the front door. 

“Mommy, mommy!” He hears Sunny before he sees her, and he feels a pang in his chest. She runs into the living room, jumping into Bobby’s lap. 

“Daddy!” She cuddles up to him, then reaches out for her grandma. “Gamma!” She hugs her. “Where’s mommy?” 

They’d read books about death together, but nothing could ever prepare him for having to tell his daughter about her mother’s untimely death. He pulled Sunny into his lap, running his hand over her unruly curls. 

“Remember how we told you Mommy was really sick?” 

Sunny nodded, her eyes wide as she focused on her father. 

“Sometimes, people get so sick that…” Bobby falters and tries to collect himself. “I’m sorry, Sunny, daddy’s very sad.” He brushes away an errant tear before continuing. “Mommy was so sick that she couldn’t be fixed, so she’s not with us anymore.” 

“Where is she?” Sunny asked, and Bobby bit his lip. 

“She’s somewhere she won’t feel pain anymore, where the sun is always shining and she can watch us and keep us safe.” Bobby tries to smile, but the tears slip through anyway. “I miss her very much already. Sometimes, really bad things happen to really good people, but…” Bobby sighs. “Someday, we’ll meet her again.” 

“I can’t wait, daddy!” 

“It better not be for a long time, Sunny!” Bobby manages a weak chuckle, and Sunny chortles, before going serious, for a toddler. 

“Is Mommy dead?” Sunny asks suddenly, and Bobby feels like he’s been punched in the gut. 

“Yes, Sunny.” He tells her. “We did everything we could to keep her--” his voice breaks, and he shakes his head, as though trying to shake away the tears that just won’t seem to stop falling. “You look just like your mom, do you know that? She loves you so much, I think more even than she loved me.” Bobby tells her. 

They all sit together in the living room for a while, telling stories about MC, until it gets late. Bobby settles in to the guest room, and Sunny insists on sleeping in his bed. He relents, but when she finally falls asleep, he hugs a pillow and weeps into it until he finally falls asleep himself. 

\--

The days pass surprisingly quickly before the funeral. Suddenly, Bobby found himself putting on a suit and tie, and checking his face in the mirror. Even with the lack of sleep, he didn’t look horrible. There were some slight bags under his eyes, maybe, but other than that, he looked his usual self. 

If it weren’t for his family, blood related and chosen, he wouldn’t have made it to her visitation. They arrived early to go over things for the next day, and to pay their own private respects. Bobby slowly approached her casket, steadying himself on the side of it before finally looking down. 

She looked peaceful, and he swore there was even a touch of a smile at the corners of her lips. Her hair was perfectly wild, her makeup done so well that it looked as though she would open her eyes at any minute and tell him that this was just her most elaborate prank yet. 

He slid his hand against hers, closing his fingers around it. She was cold to the touch, her body dead to this world without her vibrant spirit. 

“This isn’t goodbye, MC, this is I’ll see you soon. I know you’re somewhere, watching me. I know you didn’t want to say goodbye, that it was too soon. But something’s always working against us, isn’t it? I’m never going to forget you or stop loving you. How can I ever love someone the way I’ve loved you for so long? 

“I know you had so much more to give the world, and I want you to know that everything I do is in your memory. The world is a lot darker without you in it, though.” He bends down, pressing his forehead against the back of her hand, still whispering. “I can’t love anyone else the way I love you, I don’t even want to try. All I can do is take care of our Sunny, and love her the way you loved us both. 

“And I know you’ve hated seeing me cry so much, but I know you’d be the same if the tables were turned. You’d say you wouldn’t cry, but maybe it’s better this way.” He chokes back a sob, taking a deep breath. “I can’t believe I’m never going to see you again. It feels like just yesterday you were walking into a sunny villa in Spain and picking me, and changing my whole life for the better.” He sighs to himself, shaking his head. “I know exactly what you’re thinking right now, MC. Save it for the eulogy.” He can’t help smiling weakly, giving her a long last look before dragging himself away. 

He knows he’ll be back to see her a lot in the next few hours, memorizing every plane of her face, for even in death she’s the most beautiful person he’s seen in his entire life. 

\--

Gary is among the first to arrive. He instantly spots Bobby, standing off to the side, and he heads over to him, clapping him on the back. 

“How’re you holding up, mate?” He asks, and Bobby sighs. 

“I’m not, really.” He admits. Gary nods, squeezing his friend’s shoulder. 

“I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through, and I won’t pretend to, but if you ever need someone to chat to, I’m always here for you.” He tells Bobby. 

“I appreciate that, Gaz.” 

“And I’m going to be popping round constantly to check on you and Sunny, I hope you know that.” 

“I’m holding you to it.” Bobby manages a smile. “I just can’t believe it. I can’t get used to it.” He shakes his head. “They do so much to prepare you at the hospital, but how do you prepare for losing the most important person in your world?” He sighs, and Gary pulls him into a bear hug. 

“I’m not gonna say it’ll be alright, but it will get easier.” Gary had lost his nan just a year ago, and Bobby could tell it still hurt. “You never really forget, it just becomes something you deal with. Like doing laundry, or getting into an argument over who’s doing the washing up.” 

Bobby chuckles softly before sighing again. “I know I’ll get there, but right now I’m not even close. I just need time.” 

“I get that. Like I said, we’re going to have lots of lad time. I’m making sure of it.” 

The next person to come up to him is Noah. 

“Bobby, I’m so sorry.” Noah offers a hug, and Bobby accepts it gratefully. 

“It’s only now starting to feel real.” Bobby tells him. “You know, before, it was like ‘oh she’s going to come sweeping in any minute to tell me we’re going home, it was all a dream.’ But obviously that didn’t happen.” 

“It’s unfair that it happened to someone so kind.” Noah squeezes Bobby’s arm, and Bobby nods his agreement. 

“Yeah, she was too good for this world, wasn’t she? Really something else.” He stares off into the distance. “I’ll never find another like her, that’s for sure.” 

“Never say never!” Noah protests, and Bobby’s expression darkens immediately. 

“I should say, I don’t want to. She was one of a kind.” 

“I--that came out way wrong, I didn’t mean it that way.” Noah tells him, and Bobby manages a small smile. 

“It’s okay, I just--I get sick of everyone telling me I have to move on eventually.” 

“I don’t think you have to do that. That’s up to you, and you alone.” Noah nods. He wanders off to find Gary as Lottie walks up to Bobby. 

“Oh, Bobby, hun, I am so sorry.” She pulls him into a bear hug. “I really wanted her to beat this.” 

“Actually, I’ve been dying to talk to you about something.” 

Lottie perks a brow. “Oh?” 

“The morning she passed, I had a vivid dream. MC was singing in my ear, she told me it would be ok…” 

“What song?” Lottie asks, and Bobby gives her the lyrics. “Honestly? I think she came to you in your dream. It’s not exactly common, but you two? You really had one of the deepest connections I’ve ever seen.” She nods. 

“You really think it was her?” 

“From what you told me? Absolutely.” Lottie smiles, pinching his cheek playfully. “And you’re the first one she’d tell because she knows what a mess you get without her.” 

“Shut it!” He flushes, shaking his head. “I miss her terribly.” He hugs himself. “It feels like just yesterday was the first time I saw her. I didn’t know then that she’d be the love of my life, but I had a feeling.” 

“I told you, that spark is fate’s way of--” 

“Telling you it’s knocking? You only said that every other day.” Bobby teases her, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

“I’ll be around if you need to chat later.” Lottie tells him, squeezing his hand and moving on. 

Chelsea barrels toward him, crushing him in a hug. “Bobby, are you alright?” She asks, and he manages a smile. 

“As alright as I can be, I reckon.” 

“You were always my favorite love story,” Chelsea says. “Watching you two was like…” she frowns in thought. “Well, I’ll muck it up if I try to compare, but you were amazing together.” 

“That really means a lot, Chels.” 

“She loved you so much. Even when she was mad at you, she’d still gush about you. I’ve never seen anything like that.” She shakes her head. “Oh, I’m probably just making things worse, I’m sorry!” 

“You’re not, it helps, actually.” He nods. “You’re her best friend, and she loved you so much. Honestly, she talked about you so much I wondered why she settled for me.” he jokes, and Chelsea giggles softly. 

“Oh, stop it, you!” She swats at him, sighing as she looks toward the casket. “This is so hard.” She tells him, pulling him into another hug. “I am here if you need me!” 

Bobby takes a lap, talking to his friends and MC’s family, and nibbling on some vegetables or something. He barely notices what he eats these days, which is wildly out of character for him. Rahim rushes up to him, slightly out of breath, and pulls Bobby into his strong arms. 

“I’m so glad you made it, Rahim!” Bobby exclaimed, hugging his friend like his life depends on it. 

“I couldn’t miss this for the world, Bobby.” He tells him. “I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it, but I’m so sorry.” 

“I am too.” Bobby hangs his head, sighing softly. “And the hardest part isn’t over yet.” 

Ibrahim clasps Bobby’s shoulder. “We’ll all be there to help you through this,” He says. The slight of frame pastry chef from Glasgow can’t help the faint smile that crosses his face. 

“I’m really lucky that I have all of you guys.” He sighs. “I just…” He stares off into the distance for a long time before speaking. “I miss her, that’s all.” 

“I know you do, mate.” Rahim draws him into another hug. He can feel Bobby’s shoulders shaking, and he refuses to let go. “I’ve got you, alright?” He runs his hands down his friend’s back, and Bobby eventually draws a deep breath in, pulling away and wiping tears from his cheeks. 

“I’m a right mess.” 

“I can’t blame you, I would be too.” Rahim tells him. 

The rest of the evening goes by in a blur, and the next thing he knows, he’s getting ready to leave. He doesn’t want to go. “Just...give me five minutes.” He tells his family, and they nod knowingly. He goes right to her, clasping his hands as if in prayer before her. 

“Are you sick of me, yet, MC?” He asks softly, almost teasingly. “I guess I just want to memorize your face some more, even though that’s all I’ve been doing for the past nine months, and I have pictures and videos…” he pauses. “I never understood before why people do this, talk to dead bodies…

“I guess now, I get it. It’s like...I still have so much to tell you, and you’re always going to be the first person I want to tell everything to. That will never change.” He brushes tears off of his cheeks. “I can’t believe this is it. I can’t believe that tomorrow is the last time…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “Well, you know. I can’t say it.” 

“I know you’re still thinking I need to save this for your eulogy, but, I can’t. There’s a hole the size of the sun in my heart with you gone. I keep expecting to wake up with you in my arms. I keep waiting for you to be singing in the shower or the kitchen while I’m getting ready for work. I’m always looking for you in a crowd, even if I know I’ll never see you on this earth again.” 

He breaks off, choking back sobs. He bites his knuckles, inhaling deeply. 

“I wish you were still here, MC. I keep thinking...oh, well, I’ll save that for the eulogy.” He takes one last long look, before tearing himself away. 

\--

The next morning, he’s dressed in his best suit, wearing MC’s favorite tie of his, even though it’s a bright lime green and purple affair. She said those were his colors, they set off his eyes. Or, maybe it was just that lime green was her favorite color. He’d never gotten a straight answer out of her. 

He splashed his face with cold water, trying to prepare himself for the fact that he was going to cry in front of hundreds of people. It wasn’t an if at all.

Bobby had spent hours writing his speech, and even though he had it memorized, he held onto the papers for dear life. 

It wasn’t long before the funeral home filled up, and there were plenty of folks standing in the back. He sat in the front, ready to take the podium after the standard silence and songs played. MC had chosen too well, he thought, because almost everyone was sniffling and teary eyed. 

_ I’ll Be Missing You - P Diddy _

_ The Other Side - Colton Dixon  _

_ Lay Me Down - Sam Smith, John Legend  _

Bobby was full on sobbing by the time the third song was playing, and he wondered why, if she couldn’t stand seeing her friends cry, she would pick those songs. 

Suddenly, it was silent for a long moment before a snippet of Shut Up And Let Me Go by the Ting Tings started playing. Bobby couldn’t help it that his tears were replaced with laughter. The atmosphere changes a little bit, and Bobby suddenly realizes what MC’s intention had been. 

_ “Crying can be cathartic. It’s not good to hold it back. Sometimes, you have to cry, you have to let it out so you can let it go.”  _

She was brilliant, he thought, as he moved to take his place at the podium, feeling like maybe, he would make it through this speech without crying. 

“There’s a hole the size of the sun in my heart.” Bobby starts. “I know you probably wish I’d just stand up here cracking jokes, but the truth of it is, if MC isn’t around...well, she was the one I always looked to see if she laughed at my jokes. 

“We all knew her, she was the funniest, sharpest, sweetest person I’ve ever met. Even if my time with her was only short, I feel so lucky to have met her, and to have loved her all this time. She loved immensely, me, her friends, all of her family, and I know she’s up there shaking her head right now because she knows I’m going to cry.” Bobby draws in a deep breath, reaching down to thumb a folded piece of paper tucked safely in his pocket. 

“She was the glue that held us all together. She always made plans, kept all of us islanders in touch once the show ended, and made sure everyone was having a good time whenever we did meet up. 

“MC is one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. She defied expectations, and even if I never knew what I was going to get with her, I knew I wouldn’t regret a minute spent with her. And I don’t. 

“I can’t wait to tell Sunny, our daughter, all about her mother as she grows older. I’ll tell her all about the embarrassing things we did on and off the show, all the time we spent falling deeper in love. 

“I only hope that I made her life as happy and vibrant as she made mine. I know I’m a better person for knowing her. I miss her terribly, and I know I, along with everyone else in this room, would give anything to have her back with us. Actually…” He glances over at where she lies peacefully in her casket. 

“I have to admit, I’m still waiting for her to jump out of there and tell us all that this was all an elaborate prank.” He pauses, and there’s laughter. “But unfortunately, it’s not. MC means the world to me, and even if she’s gone now, she’ll live on in my heart.” He bites his lip, taking a few moments to compose himself. 

“Even if our time together was so short, we made so many memories, and because of her, I have so many amazing stories to tell our grandkids someday, and so do all of you who have known her.” His voice cracks, and he buries his face in his hands, unable to hold back his tears. He takes a deep breath. 

“If anyone wants to share stories or say anything...I don’t think I can continue right now.” He steps away from the microphone. 

Chelsea is the first one to rush up to the podium. 

“MC was my best friend for life!” She starts. “I never had a bond quite like that with any other girl. From the moment I saw her on tv, I thought ‘That is a girl I’d love to have gin with every day for the rest of my life!’ And she lived up to the hype and beyond it. 

“And like Bobby said, she was hilarious. There was never a dull moment with her. I remember once, she told me that aliens left wooden spoons whenever they visited earth. I’m still pretty sure it’s true.” She giggles softly, before taking on a serious expression. “I love that girl with all of my heart, and I miss her so much. There’s a sun sized hole in both of our hearts, Bobs.” She smiles warmly at her friend before leaving the podium. 

Lottie steps up next, and by her puffy, red face, he can tell she’s spent most of the service crying. 

“When I first met MC, I’ll be honest, I had no idea I was meeting someone who would change my life forever, in the best way. She was never afraid to speak her mind, or call me out when I was being out of line, even if I meant I got mad at her. 

“I’m also better for having known her. I’ll never forget all the times she patched things up and got everyone to see eye to eye. Even if she didn’t want to…” Lottie trails off, taking a deep breath. “I’ve definitely grown since I met her, and a lot of it is because of her.” 

Lottie sniffles and leaves the podium, even though it looks as though she had more to say. She settles in next to Gary, who wraps an arm around her as she buries her face in his shoulder. 

A lot more people stand to speak, and the room is filled with memories and stories of how MC affected their lives, and Bobby smiles sadly as he takes the podium. 

“It really warms my heart to hear about how MC was so kind to everyone. I--” he hesitates, searching his memory for the right words. “MC is the love of my life, and I’m so fortunate to have loved her and been so loved by her. 

“I want to thank you all for joining us to celebrate her life. Even though she had to leave us too soon, she assured me it was a good life.” He unfolds the piece of paper, his hands shaking. “She left a note for me to read here, and I haven’t read it yet…” he draws in a deep breath and then sighs softly before reading. 

_ Friends, family, my love, I know that if you’re reading this, I am already gone. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling right now. Sad, angry, tired, happy, relieved, if you feel it, it’s right for you.  _

_ I only wrote this letter to help me cope with asking Bobby to speak at my funeral. I know he’s probably in bits, but I couldn’t have picked a better person to live my life with.  _

_ Bobby, you’re the absolute love of my life, and I’m so sorry that we can’t see this thing we have through like we wanted to.  _

_ Chelsea, we’ll always be each other’s bras.  _

_ I love all of you so much, and I’m so thankful you’ve been a part of my life, whether in a big or small way.  _

_ I wish I could be there to see it all, I wish I could stay, but unfortunately, my time has run out.  _

_ My life has been amazing, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world, other than that one thing. I hope that when you need it most, you feel my love.  _

Bobby brushes another tear away, trying to keep it together just a little bit longer. 

“It feels like it was just yesterday that MC picked me at the Love Island Villa and changed my life forever. For the better. I’ve said that, I’ll never stop saying it. She had a way of always knowing the right thing to say and the right thing to do. If I was ever upset in there, just seeing her smiling face erased all of that. 

“She made everything fun. She was always quick with a kind word--well, most of the time--and a joke. But like Lottie said, she wouldn’t hesitate to speak her mind or call me out if I was acting foolish. 

“She also never backed down from a challenge. I’ll never forget the time she ate an entire cake just to prove she could. I gave her my favorite t-shirt for that one. Or all the times she ran interference to make sure I didn’t get involved in any drama. Or all the times she smiled and laughed at all of my jokes that no one else would tolerate. 

“She was special, and I really do believe that we--” his voice breaks for what feels like the thousandth time that hour. “We were made for each other. I’ve been talking for way too long, and even though I could spend the rest of the day telling you all how much I love her, I think you already know. So, someone put together a little video tribute, and I think I’ll leave it at that.” 

He finally takes his seat next to MC’s mother, who hugs him and gives his arm a squeeze. “Thank you so much, that was beautiful.” She whispers just before the video starts playing. 

_ MC is sitting on the floor in front of Sunny, strumming a guitar lightly. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” her voice is strong, even if it’s a little hoarse, and she still looks healthy. “You make me happy, when skies are gray.”  _

Bobby hugs himself, struggling to hold back the tears that are yet again threatening to fall. He had no idea she’d recorded this, but he was so glad she did. 

_ The next clip is MC walking to the pool at the Villa, faced with the choice between five handsome men. From the moment she steps out, she hardly takes her eyes off of Bobby.  _

Bobby wonders vaguely how he never noticed how much MC was shaking and blushing in that moment.

_ The next several clips are MC and Chelsea performing their secret handshake. Clips of her with all of the other islanders. _

_ Then, it’s Bobby and MC alone in the challenge area. Even though he’s watched this back before, he knows that seeing it now is going to hurt.  _

_ “I love you,” Bobby says, beaming at MC. Her eyes widen in shock, but then she smiles.  _

_ “I love you, too!” They kiss, and then he just holds her close to him for a long moment.  _

Bobby barely registers the rest of the video, so hung up on that moment, the first time he told her he loved her. It felt so long ago, yet so recent all at once. He buried his face in his hands, unable to hold back his sobs any longer. He feels a hand run his back gently, and he heaves a shuddering sigh, trying to find some semblance of balance. He can’t, and instead just leans forward, sobbing brokenly into his thighs. 

Maybe someday, he thinks, he’ll feel alright again, but it seems so far out of reach.

\--

The next thing Bobby knows, he’s standing at the cemetery, his hands flat on MC’s casket. He leans forward, pressing his forehead to the cool wood. The few people left are scattered about, her mother and father both have their hands flattened on the wood, eyes closed, presumably praying. 

He feels numb, as if he’s cried out every last tear left in his body, and now he’s bereft, devoid of all emotion. He only knows that this is the hardest part. Interring her body. Letting go for good. Convincing himself that jumping in after her casket wasn’t the best option. 

After all, he still has their daughter to look after. 

_ MC ran into the bedroom, where Bobby was just getting ready for bed. He turned as she flung herself into his arms. He laughed softly.  _

_ “What’s all this, then?” He asked.  _

_ “So.” She extricated himself, and her face was a vision of joy. “We’re going to have a baby.”  _

_ “What? Are you serious?” His face splits into a grin as he leans down to kiss her. “I cannot wait!” He laughs in surprise as she pulls him onto the bed with her, rolling onto her side so she can prop herself up to look at him.  _

_ “Have you been thinking of names?” She asks him, and he presses his lips together and shakes his head. “Oh, because I have.” She frowns. “Well, I’ve picked a first name, anyway.”  _

_ “Are you going to leave me in suspense?” He inches closer, and she flushes, giggling softly.  _

_ “No!” She covers her face, seemingly embarrassed. “Well, maybe.”  _

_ “C’mon, MC, just tell me!”  _

_ “Alright, alright.” She sighs. “Sunny.”  _

_ “Just Sunny?”  _

_ “Well, Sunshine for long, but yes.”  _

_ “Why Sunny?”  _

_ “Well.” She flushed, hiding her face. “I don’t think you’re going to be really thrilled with my answer.” She admitted.  _

_ “MC, I doubt that very much.” He tilted her face up, and she sighed, shaking her head and smiling. She sat up, hugging a pillow to her chest.  _

_ “I just...you know, I keep thinking, what if something happens to me? What if...ugh. So I just thought Sunny, because you always say how I’m your sunshine, and I just want you to be reminded that there’s always going to be a piece of me in the world.” She reaches out for him, dropping the pillow.  _

_ He knows it’s hard for her to talk about her fears of the cancer returning, even if it’s something that she thinks about often. He pulls her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.  _

_ “I love it.” He runs his fingers through her hair, smiling broadly.  _

_ “I’m leaving the middle name to you, though! No pressure!” She winks and pushes away, darting off to brush her teeth. _

Despite his immense sorrow, he can’t help smiling at the gift she’d given him. Even if her sunshine had gone from the world, she’d passed the torch to their daughter. As he watched Sunny being bounced gently in her grandmother’s arms, a huge grin stretching her chubby cheeks, he felt a little lighter. 

A piece of MC still lived on, and even if she wasn’t with them any longer, he had an entire library of pictures, videos, and memories. She would live on in his heart and in his storytelling. Even if the next few weeks would be hard to get through, he knew that as long as he had that smiling bairn, he still had a bright spot of sunshine left.


End file.
